Why Regift

Because sometimes your trash can become someone else’s treasure. 

By Kimberly Garza

The silver-plated photo frame had mocked me. So had the peach-scented aromatherapy oil set, with packaging that promised to put me in a “sensual state of mind.” I couldn’t open the bottom drawer of my dresser—my storage site for six years’ worth of gifts I never used—without hearing little jeers in my head. But today was a day for rejoicing, thanks to a friend’s bridal shower.

I sat in my friend’s living room, forking up pasta salad with 20 other women while she opened gifts. As she unwrapped the silver-plated frame my aunt gave me two years ago, it gleamed in the afternoon sun. My friend gasped with pleasure. “It’ll be perfect for our wedding photo,” she said, hugging me.

I sipped my margarita and thought, Another one down. Twelve more to go.

I CONFESS: I’m a serial regifter. When the occasion arises, I pounce on that drawer, searching for the perfect present to give away. Best friend’s birthday? She’d like the butterfly earrings that I didn’t. Anniversary party for my grandparents? They’d get more use out of the copper candlesticks than I could. Whatever the situation, I can usually find the proper gift buried in my bottom drawer.

I got my introduction to regifting on my sixth birthday, at the hands of a true master. I eagerly ripped into a present from a classmate only to reveal an exact replica of the Dream Bride Barbie I already had.

I scowled, but my mother gently placed Dream Bride Barbie back in the box. “Your cousin Eunice would like this very much,” she said. Then she turned and placed Barbie in a large cardboard box labeled “For Manila.”

My mother is from the Philippines, and until I was in my teens, nearly half of her family still lived in my grandparents’ house in Manila. Mom knew all too well what conditions could be like back home, where American culture was popular but its entertainment products elusive. She’d spent the first decade of her life in the United States setting aside money and vitamins to send to the Philippines every week. Growing up, sharing what we had with our overseas family—what we got with no trouble and took for granted just as easily—came as naturally as breathing.

When we received toys we already had or gifts we’d never use, they went straight into the box to send to my relatives overseas. During the long-distance calls to her sisters, Mom laughed at stories of her brother-in-law showing off the University of Texas sweatshirt we sent; my sister and I frequently received pictures of our cousins reading The Baby-Sitters Club books or watching the 3 Ninjas video we’d included in the last package.

So imagine my surprise when I got older and realized that polite society took a different view of regifting. The Emily Post Institute, that paragon of upright behavior, calls the practice “controversial,” and many people think it smacks of stinginess or laziness. Pop culture supports this view, as a 1995 episode of Seinfeld shows. In “The Label Maker,” Jerry receives a label maker as a thank-you gift from his friend Tim. Elaine sees it and recognizes that it’s the same one she had given Tim. Elaine turns to Jerry and says angrily, “He’s a regifter!”

Ouch, Elaine. No wonder I’ve been forced to hide my habit—scraping off old “To You, From…” tags, saving the original packaging so the gift looks like it’s never been opened, even polishing silver so it shines like new. But the funny thing is, however much regifting has been demonized, it remains popular: Forty-four percent of adult Americans confess to regifting, according to a 2007 study commissioned by eBay.

Tim’s problem was that he got sloppy. Pulling off a successful regift takes planning, or else you end up with the ultimate faux pas: giving a present to someone who knows it’s not new—or even worse, giving it to the person who gave it to you. Imagine the look on Aunt Ginny’s face when she opens her Christmas gift to find that same crocheted throw rug she bought for your wedding. Guess who’s going to get dirty looks for the rest of
the holiday?

Likewise, you shouldn’t use the practice simply as a way to get rid of unwanted gifts, mindlessly unloading porcelain gravy boats and ceramic cats as soon as the chance arises, regardless of occasion or person. Sure, your junk drawer clears up quickly, but at what cost?

As my mom’s cardboard box showed me, regifting shouldn’t just be about cleaning up clutter: When done correctly, the receiver benefits just as much as the giver. As a kid I saw my trash become someone else’s treasure. The act of giving something that was once yours is a practice that’s been around for ages, though its other names—charity, and more recently recycling—inspire applause rather than frowns.

REGIFTING ISN’T JUST about getting rid of junk; if it were, my bottom drawer would have been emptied years ago. Regifting is the best way to keep someone’s thoughtfulness from being wasted. And giving gifts is still a thoughtful practice, regardless of what you think of the gift itself. After all, someone cared enough about you to pony up the cash for something they thought you might like and to give it to you.

That’s exactly the way I try to practice my regifting—minus the cash part, of course. I’ve managed to regift most of my life without a hitch, not just because I keep the gifts I want to get rid of in one place and label them with Post-it notes bearing the name of the giver. But I’ve become good at it, like my mom, because I refuse to simply foist my unwanted junk onto the next acquaintance having a birthday party. I wait for the right moment and the right person to drag the right gift out of my drawer. Because regardless of where the gift came from, gift-giving should never lose its deeper meaning.

I take heart in the fact that I’m not alone in my practice. Of those Americans who confessed to regifting, more than half said they feel satisfied after successfully pulling it off. That’s why Money Management International declared the Thursday before Christmas—typically a popular office-party day—National Regifting Day. And just in time, too. That’s when I’m heading to Houston for my cousin Lisa’s bachelorette party. I’ve got an aromatherapy oil set that would be perfect for her.

Kimberly Garza is an assistant editor at Spirit.

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For more regifting tips, read these articles from MSN (“Don’t give products from defunct companies”), The Motley Fool (“Don’t declare ‘It’s vintage!’ when it’s really just plain bedraggled”), and The Washington Post (“Regift only to those who have a good sense of humor”).

You can read about other people’s experiences (good and bad) with regifting at this site.

The New York Times’ ethicist, Randy Cohen, weighs in on the subject of regifting in this NPR interview.